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The Things You Can Control

By Hayden Hurst, The Players' Tribune, 11/07/18, 12:00PM CST

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"And that was all it took. Somehow that one exchange planted a seed in my mind that affected my ability to throw a baseball."

I don’t want to be here.

That was the main thought racing through my mind as I sat in the plain room in Jacksonville, Florida waiting for my session to begin. I’d spoken to multiple therapists. They all had their own different methods. But at this point I was getting desperate. I needed to fix what was going on with me if I was going to save my career.

As I tried to get comfortable, the woman with a soothing voice sitting across from me instructed me to close my eyes, and then began counting down very slowly.

5…

 How did this happen? How did I get here?