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Everything's Not OK

By Nick Boynton, The Player's Tribune, 06/18/18, 12:00PM CDT

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Because as best I could tell, being tough, and one guy knocking the snot out of another guy, and showing no mercy, well … those things had always been part of our sport.

I’ve thought about death a lot over the past few years. About dying. And what it might be like if I wasn’t around. I’ve struggled a ton since I retired from hockey in 2011, and I’ve faced a bunch of different personal demons. But recently I’ve been unable to shake thoughts of….

Steve Montador.

Wade Belak.

Derek Boogaard.

Rick Rypien.

I knew those guys. They were real people to me.