Ask prospective coaches to identify a good time to talk to you about your questions. Make your questions short and concise. Do more listening than talking.
When my sons were playing soccer, I hated tryout season.
More than tax season. More than any other time of the year. I detested the stress and insanity around it all.
Clubs would vie for players by scheduling multiple tryouts in a day and over a weekend resulting in players attending more tryouts in a weekend than they would play games at an intense tournament.
They would often demand that players attend every one of their tryouts to have a shot at a team, which could be up to three tryouts in less than a week for a single club.
How can a player stay fresh and show his or her best in that type of situation?
Did I mention that I HATED tryout season?
So, I came up with my own 3-4 question information-gathering interview for coaches who might coach my kids.
Quite frankly, I was seriously less invested in the club as compared to finding a good coach for my sons.
What is your player development approach this year?
Sometimes I phrased this question differently. Some examples include:
The purpose of the question was to gain an understanding of the coach’s training approach, as well as his or her goals for the team and what he or she wanted the players to learn and accomplish over the course of the playing season (for recreational teams) or playing year (for more competitive levels at club teams).
Our best coaches know that players develop in four areas: physical, technical, tactical, and mental ability.
They also know that at different ages, it is important to prioritize development in these areas differently. I wanted to know how prospective coaches balanced these four elements for the team and its players.
Regardless of how I phrased the question, the answer helped me assess the coach’s approach and how it stacked up with the development needs of my own kids. It also gave me some insight as to the coach’s view of the balance between learning the game and a win-at-all-costs mentality.
What are your expectations for your players?
Personal responsibility matters.
I was not the type of parent who packed my kids’ gear bags or carried their bags to the field.
However, I did create a checklist for them to help them remember the things they should have in their bags. In addition, there was always a plastic laundry basket of clean, full water bottles by the front door to grab on the way out to training or games.
The purpose of this question for the coach had to do with the coach’s view of the personal responsibilities for my sons with regards to the team and for their improvement in the game.
I wanted to know what would be expected of them at team events, like practices and games. I also wanted to know if the coach planned to assign personal homework or other outside-the-team training.
If I understood the coach’s expectations clearly, I could reinforce those expectations at home to support my kids, their coach, and the team.
What are your expectations for your parents?
Too often in my work with coaches, I hear them say that, ideally, they would like to work with orphans with trust funds. I believe that a great deal of this unproductive angst is related to unclear communications and expectations between coaches and parents. It poisons the relationship we need with each other to support our players.
I fully expected the answer to this question to change and evolve as my sons grew older and took on more responsibility for communicating directly with their coaches. I pushed my kids to talk directly to their coaches at an early age. I was the back-up communication system.
The coach’s answer to this question gave me a clue to how he or she viewed parents. I valued coaches who could articulate clear expectations for parents and saw a partnership between the adults in supporting players.
As a professional facilitator, I could tell when a coach simply wanted to coach orphans as compared to someone who wanted a real partnership with parents to support our players.
The answer also gave the coach an opportunity to inform me about team and club expectations for volunteer activities or other needs he or she might have in the upcoming playing season.
How do your players earn playing time?
I only asked coaches this question for teams with a more competitive bent, like select and premier teams. The assumption behind this question is that all players would not automatically receive equal playing time and that these types of teams have an internal competitive environment.
I assumed that playing time would be roughly equal for all players on recreational teams, assuming the players were following team rules.
I added this question to my interview list following a seriously awful experience on one of my son’s teams. I decided that it was important to ask what the criteria was so that expectations would be clear upfront.
The answer to this question told me something more about the coach’s player development approach and how he or she viewed the balance between developing players and a win-at-all-costs mentality.
It also gave me additional information about what personal responsibility my sons needed to take on to compete within the team and on game days. Again, it enabled me to reinforce the coach’s expectations at home with my kids.
Most coaches were surprised that I interviewed them. One coach took the time to write me an incredibly long email with detailed answers to each of the questions. My son played for him, and it was a good experience for all of us.
Other coaches struggled with the answers. Some even tried to hide their sense of offense that I would even dare ask for such information.
The key was that I made sure never to lobby for my sons in asking the questions.
The purpose was information-gathering only, not showing off my sons’ skills. My kids had to do that on the tryout field and earn their spot on a team themselves.